One.

My Dearest Adam,

There are some things in life that you cannot fully appreciate until you experience them for yourself.  As it turns out, understanding the depth of a mother’s love is one of them.

One year has passed since you left the comfort of the womb and took your first breath.  One whole year.  It feels like only yesterday and an eternity ago at the same time.

While I had no idea what I was in for, I knew that I was ready.  I was ready because I had prayed with all my being for you, and waited for what felt like an eternity.

I remember how difficult those newborn days were with round-the-clock feedings and chronic sleep deprivation.  But I was also in awe of you.  I spent countless nights studying every detail of your face as you slept in my arms.  While those late nights were exhausting, they were also filled with the most peace I have ever felt in my life; I was where I belonged.  It was during those quiet hours, in the calm of the night, where I fell deeper in love with you, as you slept against the beat of my heart.

It hardly seems like enough time has gone by to justify my reminiscing, but you’ve changed so much. You are filled with so much wonder, and I can’t help but marvel back at you as you fearlessly discover the world.

While I’ve taught you some basics throughout the last year, I have learned more important lessons from you.

You’ve taught me how to slow down and be fully present.

You have also taught me patience and forgiveness.  And while I’m not perfect, my love, I promise to try and be the best mama to you that I can be.  Every. Single. Day.

Sometimes, I look at you and my eyes can’t help but well-up, flooded with emotion, because you are just too good to be true.  What I did to ever be worthy to be your mama I’ll never know, but I am eternally grateful to the One who sent you to me.  One year later, and I still cannot believe that you’re mine.

Little did I know how much joy you would bring not only into our lives, as parents, but to everyone around you, even strangers.  When you smile, so do your eyes, and your face radiates pure and innocent joy.

While it has been amazing to watch you grow, a part of me is sad to close out our first chapter together.  As much as I tried to soak in each day and moment, fully aware that it was fleeting, here we are, one year later.

Know that you are loved, my sweet, sweet boy.  Fiercely and unconditionally.  By everyone around you.  We would do anything for you, and whatever we do, it is with you first in mind.

My love for you cannot be measured.  Its seed was planted in my heart long before you were even born, and it continues to grow deeper with each passing day.  You have forever claimed my heart.

Happy first birthday, my sweet angel.  I love you.

Love,
Mama